Gluten Free Singles. It's real?
I mistook our mutual love of John McClane as chemistry.
To me he was Architect Guy but to him I was "Cleavage Fixer", "The Over Texter", "The Girl Who Can't Take A Hint".
It turn out Bon Iver Guy loved and freaked out over karaoke the way people love and freak out over a Andy Samberg digital short.
All I wanted to do when we first met was to make out at the end of the night next to his car but now I wanted to go home and read the Bible out of spite.
I think Cat Guy didn't text me back because I laughed in his face when he asked me if I was serious about my cat hatred. And I get that.
We all have had that moment at home where you think "dear lord I'm happy no one can see me right now." (usually this occurs after you have a gassy moment..am I right?)
By this point I had bigger balls than this dude and any cool credit that I had (none) was all gone, now that I was associated with Disaronno guy.
"HEY DO YOU KNOW WHERE THE HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS HANG OUT?"
This guy was so cool that I didn't give a shit about this date.
A guy is posing with some cute girl on a dating site your mind can think two things "One your ex is kinda hot, and two, you're an idiot for thinking this is appropriate"
Disappointed Guy walked over to me like he just found out his dog died, or that Houlihan's ran out of poppers. I'm not what you consider at ten but I'm not that unfortunate looking. He saw my photos right? I didn't post that one of me at New Years....did I?
For some idiotic reason I thought going to get a 1,200 calorie meal followed by a movie (also connected to the mall) was an appropriate date for a 23 year old. The first guy I took to this establishment was a guy, who as I look back, should have creeped the shit out of me.
Remember back in 1998 when Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan met through an AOL chat room and how it was this big weird ordeal when NY152 asked to meet Shopgirl at a coffee shop? Fifteen years later, the only thing weird about this movie is Dave Chappelle playing Tom Hank's bff.
"I hate writing about myself" It's like seeing the name Vin Diesel in the opening credits of a movie. You are setting up the viewer for disappointment.
I blushed right away and smiled they way any girl smiles when she finds out there will be cheesecake served after dinner
I was living in my mom's one bedroom apartment in the living room, sleeping on an air mattress I blew up each night. I somehow thought this was a good time to start dating.
Online dating is weird, awkward, and when you see a guy for the 1000 time playing a guitar in his profile picture it can get down right predictable and frustrating.